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Monday, September 23, 2013

FROZEN SOUL IN FREEZING SEOUL






Bitterly bone chilling cold is tolerable for five minutes. Into the sixth minute, hallucinations of hot burning scorching sun searing down my back commences the beginning of my insanity. If it were not for work, I would not opt to fly to Seoul, Korea in the dead of winter. My friend, Chung Kim, informed me over skype that outside his house, it was -15°C and predictions for the week, will go as low as -25°C

Any preconceived notions from all avenues of media, did not prepare me for the two things that struck about Korea, Koreans and the “Zeitgeist” of Korea.  The spirit of the age and the atmosphere of the place spelt “successfully clawed out of an abyss……hauling strength, self worth back up.” 

Early morning Seoul is a grey, misty and bone-gripping cold.  Sipping steaming tea whilst waiting for check-in time  -  Mr. Kim declined to waste time and took us on a visit to Jogyesa Temple.   Having practiced Buddhism in the threshold of “Theravadism,” the teachings of analysis, the doctrine that says insight must come from the aspirant's experience, critical investigation, and reasoning instead of blind faith.  To witness another form of Buddhism, “Bodhisattvas,” representing various aspects of compassion and wisdom filled my intellectual void.  

A white pine tree is located in the temple grounds.   Mr. Kim was proud to tell me that the Pine tree is a Natural Monument No. 9.  In the very cold wind, this was  my first leveler of nationalism.  The Cultural Heritage Administration of South Korea designated plants, landforms, and geological formations, nature reserves as natural monuments.   This lacebark pine had reached a height of 10 meters and estimated to be 500 years old; the lack of growing space has weakened its condition.  I could hear Mr. Kim’s American English continue to describe the temple fading into the distance,  as  my mind was on the Cultural Heritage Administration.  The ice cold temperature seemed to have lost its grip for a momentary spell, I was more mesmerized by a living thing, 500 years old sheltering me from the elements.  Held and treasured by Korean people, this tree became a significant feature to my introduction of all things Korean.

I have to admit that I have a biased attitude to all things Korean.  It’s a very female thing.   Unashamedly it is my unfound jealousy towards my partner’s ex-girlfriend  Sung-ji.  Obviously she made an impact on him, so all points she represented were doomed.   Poor Mr. Kim had to make up for things he had no idea how high a climb he needed to accomplish, in order to impress this jaded lady.





To combat the ice crystals forming in my veins, Sam Gae Tang was suggested.  This is the most wonderfully delicious chicken soup that even the best Jewish version could not compete and pales in comparison.  I stand my ground to any Jewish mother refuting otherwise. The fresh ginseng stuffed in the cavity of the chicken infuses the glutinous rice stuffed inside together.  The Cornish hens boiled for hours just falls apart with just a touch of a fork.   It came with a small shot glass of ginseng wine and perked my attitude up.  Completion of  DAY 1, my “Koreanaphobia” lessened just a notch or two.






Dongdaemun Market for some is the ultimate in shopping experience but I was not into cheap copies or wholesale buying.   For me, Jindo Fur store was what poor Mr. Kim was about to be dragged into for a whole afternoon.  My conscience for endangered species was not anywhere to be found.  I wanted a mink fur jacket.  Not a fox, not anything other than a mink to cover my shoulders. 




Mink jackets, mink stoles, mink coats, all shades were hung in racks upon racks in the vast warehouse.  I was the proverbial little girl in a candy store.   The entire afternoon slipped into a haze.  Mr. Kim was made of magnificent patience; he nodded off to sleep, shot himself up every now and again to sounds of ecstasy emanating from behind the fitting room. Decision made, payment selection made, I was ready for a new experience.






Jetlagged, mixed with red wine, and a full stomach, pointed only in one direction > sleep.  The inviting luscious bed of the Shilla Hotel, after a long working day and shopping afternoon, was tempting but my host was taking me to the NANTA show.


Sitting in the theatre waiting for the show to start, the sleepy haze effect I was fearing, was about to become my worst nightmare – my snoring habit was surfacing. It was so hard to keep awake.  Suddenly the drums started, I was about to witness the best show, bar any on Broadway NYC or Shaftesbury Avenue, London or Circe de Soliel, Vegas.



NANTA is the longest-running show in Korean history. In Korea it is performed in three theatres in Seoul as well as in one theatre on the island of Jeju.  The show’s back story of three cooks attempting to finish preparing a wedding banquet within a strict time limit while the manager installs his incompetent nephew among the kitchen staff. The performance involves acrobatics, magic tricks, comedy pantomime and audience participation. The unifying element throughout the musical is the use of traditional Korean samul nori music, which in this case in performed with improvised instruments, such as cutting boards, water canisters and kitchen knives. The performance is almost completely non-verbal.


I sat up completely spellbound with such originality.  The sheer creativity, in-sync, nonverbal, surpassing all culture, was when I deferred to their incredible society that I had originally dismissed.  

Here is where I found the true beginnings of  Korea and the Koreans I was privileged to see.  Their immense pride and nationalistic sentiments having achieved so much in the last fifty years is much to be proud of.   Selecting anything from their cars, airplanes, IT and cellular industry their fashion, cosmetic surgery industry, their TV soaps – they have committed to excellence.   Nationalistic pride is somehow missing in today’s emergence of borderless countries.  

I have only one major beef about the country.   The lack of warmth, of empathy, fallen through the cracks on their way up the abyss contributes to the freezing soul  in frozen Seoul.






Thursday, September 12, 2013

U S R

USR is a polite term within the airline industry for FAT PAX

Normal Sized Passenger

FAT PAX is the hottest topic within the airline industry right now.  All abbreviations make me dizzy.   I never know what the heck they mean, and sometimes I pretend to comprehend, only to dig myself into a bigger hole.

Depending on where you are, what you do, USR can mean a whole range of things.  For example if you are in education, then USR could be Universities Statistical Records, or if you are in medicine, then it could easily be Ultra Sound Records.  If you are just like me, who loves to eat, travel and meet lovely people, this acronym has no relevance whatsoever until I was at the gate ready to board my plane from NYC to Atlanta.


Believe it or not this passenger is seated!




If you are deemed a “USR”  by a US airline, then there are only three choices left;  buy two seats, get de-planed or lose a massive amount of weight pronto.   USR in polite terms, means Unique Seating Required or in airline vernacular, Fat Pax.








Having  a relatively small, compact Asian physique, public transport of any kind has never hampered me in any way until I ventured into the nether regions of “inside” America, where food portions are ginormous, with subsequent results in obesity as the number one health problem in America.   I was wedged between two very large ladies.  In fact it must have looked ridiculous to the eye because the flight attendant was extra nice to me and tried to find a better seat to no avail.   My 2 hour flight could only be described as suffocating

Now I realize that some people will say that obesity is a genetic condition or a handicap, and it may well be, although the fact that the ranks of the obese in the U.S. grow year after year suggests that it's not (DNA doesn't mutate quite that quickly).

The idea of charging for two seats is fair.  But how about paying by weight.  All airlines have weight ratio problems, so this could help to calculate take-off weight crucial for any flight.  On another note, its a great way to keep trim.

When purse permits, business class is the preferred seat. Nevertheless even on some airlines, I feel short changed when my BC seat's only difference  is  a foot rest and a larger blanket.  

I have yet to pay an airfare that was value for money.  Even low cost has become less attractive when flying from Rome to Heathrow, I discovered that the sandwiches for sale at the beginning of the flight, gets 50% discount 20 minutes before landing.  On disembarking, the sandwiches lost its lustre became free for all.

For those extra large people, I do feel very sorry for their predicament.  Life must be hell whatever they have to undertake.  From the car they purchase, to the toilet they  have to carefully lower their bum without cracking the seat, I would not want to humiliate them further by having to weigh themselves before boarding. So airlines out there find a fair solution - I want good seats, plenty of leg room with only two in a row, crisp linen napkins, 2 or 3 different cuisines to choose from, pretty flight attendants, all packaged together in a low budget price.

Dream on........






Saturday, August 31, 2013

WHORING




Whoring  - a nasty title for a blog.  But Hey - I got your attention didn’t I?

Many have voiced opinions.   But has anyone really sat down, and asked their inner voices, “how much” it would take.   We all have our prices and reasons.  None of which should be judged.  But oh I am guilty of that very moral criticism.  It is time to be truthful and unbiased.   And take that smug off my face, for when it’s crunch-time, I know I could be bought.  The price would be astronomical, but hey I come with other incomparable attributes. 

Indecent Proposal

Pretty Woman 
“To the moralist, prostitution does not consist so much in the fact that the 
woman sells her body, but rather that she sells it out of wedlock.” ― Emma Goodman was quoted.   Funny, in its comparison the reality in wedlock, the woman is paid in more ways than one.  As Bertrand Russell said, “Marriage is for woman the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.” What is marriage if not but prostitution to one man instead of many?


Famous naughty American actor Charlie Sheen, was being sentenced for using a prostitute, the judge asked him why a man like him would have to pay for sex. And Sheen reportedly replied: “I don’t pay them for sex. I pay for them to leave afterwards.”





Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff?

I find it necessary to redress myself on thoughts that lingered with me the other day.

I was out shopping for my groceries, in this wonderful land where expats are termed sexpats. In line behind me was an Englishman in his late 30’s with his arms outstretched reaching for a Museli bread bun. Crisp in a recognizable posh British accent, he says  “Darling, look at those museli bun, haven’t had those in years, lets have them”, only to be retorted back by the local girl, in broken Tinglish, “Honey, no I doan’t likey – white bread gooder, I make you Thai dish with pork on top – come baby – over here!”

Clearly their relationship was one of the Kingdom’s oft known for its sex tourist destination.  Where one could rent a wife for a week or two, and in some cases, they actually fall in love.  My reaction with the Muesli bun couple was one of degradation and disgust.  By the time I reached the pay station an hour later, they were in line in front of me so I was able to watch their interplay.  

Plainly obvious was their happiness.  He was luxuriating in being lovingly spoilt, his manhood bursting out.  She was delighting in the well-stocked supermarket cart, relishing in a week’s free food at long last. Maybe they were married, would that have made the difference, I ask myself?  With my experienced eye, and a keen observer of life, theirs was of a rental persuasion.   And so what?   When a woman wants to sell her body, in return for a weeks shopping; a brand name handbag, or just plain staying alive, they should have the full right without encountering punishment or discrimination.  The relationship between the sex buyer and the sex seller must be considered a purely private transaction.

By the time I managed to come to terms with this highly intellectual debate in my head,  it was my turn to pay the grocery bill. The couple turned around and smiled at me.  “Have a great muesli bun and tea,” I managed to say.   And I truly hoped they did.