TILL DEATH DO US PART

AN ODE TO BEE & BEN

A thought passed through  my mind as I witnessed recently a beautiful wedding . Those vows said by millions in front of their supreme faith, or just between themselves, hold weight in increments of decades together, are never truly valued at the time the vows were first made.

I witnessed a blooming love affair three years ago when my young friend brought over her "stray-beach find" in the form of  an introduction to me. To test an open minded friend/relative, before the parental definitive acceptance.  For this was an interracial relationship, as is my own.

My silent instant reaction was "if you think you can engage yourself in these people's lives, you need to step up and show what you are made of".   My loud and vocal reaction was, "hell yeah, enjoy yourselves".

Last week the not so young but dashing man, at their wedding, did one important action of showing his love, devotion to all.  By demonstrating his seriousness in protecting and loving his bride with one impressive action alone; he properly learnt to speak the Thai language in  making an eloquent speech showing true commitment and understanding.

Linguistically gifted aside, apart from his native New Zealand twang, he spoke fluent French.  Through language, he has understood and accepted the many layers of the culture, tradition and remained his true self.   This is a beautiful platform in the longevity of married life in respecting each ridiculousness of tradition or custom that appears irrational.

Shared ups and downs, journeying through crevices of disappointments; and peaks of success; good health and illness's and inevitable old age.   Arriving at this juncture, I have witnessed true commitment and the uniting of two cultures regardless of how others perceive.  Be true to yourselves and let no one, culture or tradition come into your four walls. 

There are no secrets to a happy marriage.  To each his own.  There lies only one important factor. Through time, the silent vow to yourself, or to your supreme faith, is held accountable only by you.   Instead of the many congratulations, jubilations, and overwhelming love that  the couple have received, I offer my deep belief on taking this important step to last  -  

                                     Till death us do part.

THE FRENCH OPEN

Bum on tiny hard green seats under the afternoon's hot sun, or lounging at home on Talenti's exquisite chaise lounge, in ambient temperature? 

French cuisine shared under a luxury tent, only champagne served before the game;  or home cooked comfort food within arm's stretch?  

At both scenarios, the grunting sound accompanies a thud of racket hitting a served ball; either selection, eyes glued to two famous people fighting for the trophy.   

But I am happier to squeeze my butt cheeks into this cheap hard green bucket at Roland Garros's Philippe Chatrier Court, sipping Grand Cru at The Legend Lounge. The sexy grunts that accompanies the sound of racket hits ball draws the spectators to root for them, the louder the grunt the more it resembles the road to orgasm.   We all are aware of it, pretend it's non-existence yet the louder it becomes, the intensity of the fight going either way and the possibility of the game at finis, how it resembles that climatic peak.

Guests of Longine, the official Time Keeper of the French Open, I witnessed the rise of Djokovic, from his first entry in 2007 only 20 years old; too young for daughter's interest.  Watching him twelve years later, still too young for daughter, the Serbian's strength, the gift of his return serves is well known and talked about.

Reading this you would think that I am a tennis aficionado only I hate to disappoint.  It is the best of France that attracts me, Paris. George Cinq, Eiffel Tower,  French Champagne, Longine, Lobster Thermidor, Brie....Lourve, French impressionists, Macron..... don't let me bore you; anything to take my mind off  Brexit, Trump, May and my country's ineptitude at finding a Government after 10 weeks of a supposedly democratic election;  we still have an empty chair to run the country.  

It must be the alignment of the stars; the tilting of the earth, the mystical black hole.  I await the return of forward-thinking minds to bring a modernistic approach to doing things better - steal a little of Lee Kuan Yew's approach.  

TWENTY YEARS AGO TODAY

Hard to fathom its only 20 years ago and now its just down to one machine.

Hard to grasp its far reaching capabilities;  anywhere from trading on the Stock Exchange to ordering food while bingeing on Netflix's  must see.

Hard to grasp the choices of audio listening from Arianda Grande's latest hits; to Tony Robbins podcast on Achievement 

Hard to grasp freedom  granted to a hunted Saudi Arabian girl whose only possession she had was her Iphone and the clothes on her back.

The demands rests at your fingertips.  The stress level is constant.  Forever reaching out to placate our needs.

Not long ago my early morning wake-up was kissing  my husband, starting his day off with love and mine with excitement.  Today, my fingers stretch out ....grasping for the plugged-in Iphone, instead of spooning him for attention.

Not long ago, my morning fitness trapped me at home with Jane Fonda's video; now my GPS tracks my path on Runyon, it even tells me at this pace it would take 55 minutes.

Not long ago, I look up at the sky to see Pan Am flying into Guam packed full of goodies from Stateside.   Now I track all flights globally on my Plane Live for peace of mind that daughter's landed safe.

Ahead is possibility of advanced AI that thinks faster, acts faster, performs better - so  while they perform the hard tasks, let's nurture the neglected soul,  let's learn to give with gratitude.  

When we finally colonize another planet, let's not propagandize religion as faiths but bow to the Sun that revolves that gives life every day. 

When the Sun finally sets and the Moon takes over, let the mystique of  its light shine us out of darkness.

When demands of instant gratification is at the push of your fingertips, think carefully of the  reverberations it causes as pleasure becomes a cruel  trick.

RED - THE COLOR OF LIFE

Fiery Red Rubies holds       Power. 

Held as one of God's divine creations, Kings' and Queens'  adorn their Crowns with Rubies, admired as a symbol of power.

In the digital world today, with young technical savvy entrepreneurs, holding 8 digits in their bank account, does that symbolism of power still hold true?

Or could it be a success gage; the bigger the stone, the brighter the red, the bigger the bank balance.

Or could it be, the rarer the piece, the allure of the persuasion, the conquest of a woman.

As I am paraded through the world's finest collection of beautiful ruby necklaces, ruby rings, ruby bracelets; all for adorning the female gender.  Their total worth would take years of my salary put together.  I could not help to wonder.....  Made for women, by male craftsmen, sold by famous Houses owned by sons of original male owners, purchased by men to win over a woman's heart.

Quietly murmuring to myself, "how does such fiery red ruby adorn any girls' neck; seduction? dangling sexuality to inadequate fat-cats? "  

Am I kidding myself? Such staggering dazzling gems shine like lazer beams crisscrossing the room.  

No conflict going on in my mind; only why did I 

care so much when I was just a blooming flower yet unplucked?  As a feminist English writer Angela Carter once asked, "what is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many?" 

Because when possession of such exquisite fiery red ruby from Myanmar, rests on such a fine décolletage; the lady in question holds power over her man, shoots her social position to stratospheric level. Using its redness with its strong associations with life's sustaining fluid.......much like blood ....the power of life.  

It is high time I introduce myself - I am Ruby.

POLLY'S CENTURY

Sharing city life with 11 million others, suffocation is a mild after-effect.  All of us crave  "the grass is greener on the other side"  but I will still fight the traffic regardless; whether it's end of the month, a Friday night, or monsoon season flooding the streets that a trip of 20 minutes can turn into two hours.  You would only hear explosions from my vocal chords all expletive deletives from at least 5 languages memorized.  Because I'm a city girl at heart. 

Entertaining a little calmness in my life, and to balance my inner karmic energy; if there is a time capsule that can dial up how many centuries to go back, I'd be tempted to turn the dial as far back as it would go.    Being sensible me, my make believe time lapse dial takes me to Century Siam, a place far from the five o'clock traffic. Humanoids pushing and shoving seemingly disappear with the  gentle breeze flowing through the canals, kids laughing and long tail boats swooshing are the only noise suggesting we are not alone.

Fantasy; escapism; time capsule; whatever medium that brought me here, I was not exstatic by the show case  collection of old style barber shops; antiquated Chinese herbal chemist ; toy shops, nor the tailor shops with obsolete foot-peddle Singer sewing machines.  What was exquisite was the atmosphere of the different style teak houses capturing uniquely Northern Lanna Siam, or Islamic Southern Siam.  

Surreal was the atmosphere, where perhaps significant signs went unnoticed.  Sino-Portuguese gates guarded the beautiful teak houses, were these pieces of old teak upholding the buildings emanating untold stories of long ago.  If the wood could talk, stories would unfold of love, lust, life, death, drought, floods, wars, peace and the sharing of numerous religious ceremonies. The energy discarded by our forefathers that flowed through and stayed trapped in the pillars and walls echoed the conversations past, the disagreements, the hierarchical acceptance. The 60 minutes or so held my attention that these particles were hoping to pass along.  Sensitive to energy I became the receptor to past issues. 

As I sat there for what seemed eternal basking in the late afternoon sun and gentle evening breeze, sipping sweet coconut water, seduced by history; sunset rapidly changed the atmosphere overlooking the canal.  The fireflies arrive, like Christmas tree lights sparkle on and off mesmerizing and electrifying.  I was magically taken to those gentle days where no vehicles pass by leaving dust particles, no smart phones ringing, no text pinging.  The world of internet, malls, banks, starbucks, mass transportation left behind in another parallel world where there was just me, Polly,  and history.  

NATIONAL CHARACTERISTICS (IN JEST)

Valid criticism when taken offense shows that painful truth burns.

Let's not be childlike in admitting these faults that go along with virtue?

The Brits are  known for their "keeping a stiff upper lip".   It has become symbolic of the British, and particularly of the products of the English public school system during the age of the British Empire.  The other side of the Brits are being fair and just; an edifying trait to possess.

The French are known for their famous Gallic shrug "Je ne sais pas"... or to give a more meaningful translation, "I haven't got the faintest idea and why on earth are you asking me that ridiculous question anyway?"  Proud of their language, they simply feel everyone should speak French.  Those that don't or can't are not given the time of day.  We all have to agree their food is penultimate in dining.

The Spaniards are known for  Mañana meaning "tomorrow"  mañana  is procrastination at it's finest.   Not an edifying personality trait,  but a warm and passionate nation with Flamenco music and dance, bullfights, fantastic beaches and delicious tapas.

 The Indians are well known for simultaneously exclaiming, "Chalta Hai" with the head wobble while explaining compromising circumstances with "It happens".  Their most beautiful saying is "The guest is God"  - (Athiti Devo Bhava ) is a motto that almost all Indians follow with utmost dedication and compassion. Even the poorest of the poor treat their guests to all kinds of luxuries. 


Now we come to the Thais.   They smile a lot.  Hence the Land of Smiles.  But when one young Thai openly critiqued his own people for smiling in order to  hide behind their inability to answer pertinent and important questions; suggesting they have no standing in opinions that matter; he was lambasted in the media for telling a lie or the truth?

In the Land of Smiles, a trait so beautifully acclaimed by well known author Dr. Henry Holmes, Chairman of  Cross Culture Management who wrote about deciphering 13 Thai smiles;  none of which suggests hiding behind ignorance.

What I think this young advocate wanted was to provoke changes to the Thai ways;  with new Thai thinking; putting forward the future of young Thais to make them not emulate nor behave as their elders have been.  An act to modernize traditions in keeping a permanent standing with the world today was his way to jerk old habits and bring about change.  Understandably the old fashion spirits could not take his criticism. It burns because there is truth.

So I have come across these smiles to consider:

"I am too stupid to understand this, but I must keep face" Smile.
"This policy is a bit mental but I don't need to say it" Smile
"The boss doesn't know I have no idea what he's saying but will let him finish because he seems to think it matters" Smile

But let me argue that the most beautiful Thai national characteristics (that needs no survey) overriding the smile, is the all encompassing trait of  "KRENG-JAI" translated means  "consideration over others" a truly beautiful quality the Thais possess.

BELONGING TO AN EXCLUSIVE TRIBE

Tumultuous days of questions, answers; more questions, more answers that require  finding the correct truth; however hard to accept.

If you were born  on a high platform of social significance but wish to seek  normalcy like the rest of the population; by nature and rules of societal law that this is denied because you are what you come from.  Perhaps better explained that  you carry with you your ancestral heritage.  Your parental heritage dictates who you are; what you are allowed to do; hence follow your path without anger, disappointment and dutifully take your place where you belong.   Tearing off to do your own thing, whether it be philanthropical,  believing in another faith, or simply marrying into another tribe, changes the "belonging" that we all seem to covet.

I found that hard to swallow.  

Anthropology studies tells us we are tribal.  Bringing in beliefs  sanctioned by elders who are deemed wise and knowledgable suggests continuity of sustained tradition.  Whether it be those that perform circumcision to young unflinching pubescent teenage boys in Nigeria, ritualistic ceremonial requirements of being a tough "man"  belonging to the Masaai Tribe.   Not doing the painful cutting leaves you out of the tribe so necessary to fit in.    

Most significantly India's caste system  is a set of "prescribed unequal laws for different castes based upon their status in society" and it "justifies the caste system as the basis of order and regularity of society".  Unfortunately Hindu's have no opportunity to marry into a different social group, so are confined to their caste group for life. Social climbing the  ladder from the lower castes were impossible so they remained where the were, stalling economic progress.    Only Gautama Buddha sort to do the reverse of climbing down in order to find Nirvana.

Simply what seems to be the bone in my throat?   

I come from a certain tribe that reminds me of my conduct and behaviour at all times. While it behoves me to follow the correct path, the temptation to step out of those guidelines continually persists and in the end  I did follow my heart.   The struggle to keep everything balanced  became an art form and my survival instinct sharpened to conduct my journey with grace.   Because of such belief in freedom of rights and privilege, I genuinely feel for anyone wishing to step in the public domain of service to the country, whether it be religious or political, when it is forbidden by whatever laws and familial codes of conduct. 

Finally I was given an answer I could stomach.  It was a simple answer to my voluminous thought provoking question:

"Freedom to choose our hearts desire is ultimate in the path of progress however seen to be disrespectful or against tradition."  

My homage lies in those that try, paving the way for others to seek advancement in developmental growth.