Balance your views, evaluate your principles, elevate your standards to match the times. Be mindful in choosing what is agreeable. The uncomfortable line that cuts through and divides you in one camp or another; seek to bridge the gap because you can’t live in the past and the future encompasses re-learning.
Be a voyeur to my wobbly balancing act and have a chuckle at my attempt to be current.
Adept at making any awkward silence disappear, I'm of the old school variety of meeting new people through physical contact; face to face, handshakes, (how strong or weak your grasp) or namaste (how low does your head bow to your hands) will give me a quick assessment of my new acquaintance. Now half way up the ladder, I have developed new skills of decoding text, of humor or anger, solving abbreviations, detecting curt undertones, precision instructions or just the simple ‘I love you’ as an ending of conversation, or a continuation of bedroom love.
In ancient times, (only 20 years ago), letters took 14 days to receive and reply, 10 years on, email etiquette is a 24hr turnaround, and today, texting requires immediate response. Just two decades ago, life was slower, therefore fewer mistakes, and solid friendships formed through collected moments of time, allowed less flawed judgements.
Things have changed drastically in the world of NOW. With social media where you can connect with people you have never met yet begin to know them in the space of a week, as if you knew them from childhood. Sarcasm is most challenging text to convey; forcefulness of words is silenced. Kindness reflected in soft tones of empathy requires poetic skills; and a mere “Hello” must be mis-spelt to convey “Helloooooo anyone home?” and sadly a deep sexy “hello”, only audible in the imagination of the receiver.
Change for anyone – young or old is only reflected in how effortlessly it is achieved. Before any judgement, I must investigate my own behavior. Up until a couple of years, I had every social media available; Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Podcasts, Linked-In, YouTube, and Twitter. I followed local and global influencers, minor stars, major celebs, even US Presidents whose every thought process went on Twitter. I commented harshly when I saw injustice, gushed at perceived selfless act of kindness. Opened myself to friends and strangers that I was on top of the game; knew every potential latest idea, discussed avidly, and won my point because I was ahead of those that did not have their face stuck to their phone every second of everyday.
Until one day I was struck by a tragic event, a jolt thunderstruck lightening flashed and realized how exposed my daily life was to the world of social media. It could have been judged incorrectly by the well-crafted pictures and comments. Putting myself in a realm of ‘the perfect life’ that a possible psychopathic killer, or a Talibhan terrorist, or the rapist next door, or more likely a hacker who knew my every movement, was poised ready to steal my life. Immediate reaction left me with just Facebook, my only media outlet as I deleted all others so that I could follow local and world accounts uncensored, as I live under dictatorial rule, masking as democracy. Push came to shove; VPN would be my saving grace, even that has its limitations.
The emergence of the economy and social values after WWII when I popped into the world mid 1950’s loosened the parental stress of giving birth in bunkers but tighten the belt of new rules when death was replaced by world peace. By the time I became a parent in the early 1980s, all those strict measures I suffered had no place in society. My life had gone through the hippie movement, the cloud of marijuana smoke that permeated my bedroom, and the sexual freedom gave way to female emancipation.
The magnitude of social values changed yet again with the advent of the internet, and parental guidance shifted when I became a grandparent in 2020. YouTube and its vast information of how to bring up children; became the yardstick for parents from toddler screams to teenage defiance. Ipads used as a measure to keep children occupied with cartoons when attention span turn into ADHD
Sound satisfaction at flipping the pages while reading an exciting novel, is now replaced by e-book’s silent pressing forward. Once everyone’s secret shameful habit of dog-earring a page has now become a bookmarker. Now the revolution of Audible keeps your reading material up to date with the choice of an American twang or British delivery while you are at the gym or stuck in traffic without having to physically scroll the pages.
Eye flirtation, a woman’s secret weapon of seduction supposedly increases sexual tension, precursor to the act itself, converts to the sexless act of swiping left or right on Tinder - unlikely to set blood flow where it is most needed. Nothing more powerful than whiffs of scent, eye contact and slight touch to electrify the energy of a human body, the need for procreation.
Not wanting to be cast aside as irrelevant, snatches of conversations regarding Andrew Tate, described as world’s influencer was intriguing enough to listen to TV presenter Piers Morgan rip him apart. Deliberate fast talking, irate and angry, sporting an intentional gangster appeal; I liked some of his viewpoint and realized the rise of female emancipation (mommy issues as well) crushed him along the way. Accused of being a misogynist, he is putting his values clear and honest at how men should be the leader and not allow their sons to pursue the soft option. His words:
“De-masculinization of men in the west is a genuine plague, we are suffering
the traditional role that men have the duty to protect.”
“If you take a man and give him a life, shield him from problems, that he never needed to face, I guarantee you, he is terrible at being a man.”
Released after 6 months jail in Romania August 2023 for alleged sex trafficking and pornography, Andrew Tate, followed by millions globally is today’s man wanting yesterday’s values.
The world at fast-track has engineered a multitask society. Just watch a skilled driver maneuver through traffic. Normally changing lanes requires eye-flick-up at the rear-view mirror with side glances ensuring safety. Fast-track world emits a sexy GPS voice-navigation through the smart phone, precariously clipped onto a holder, strategically blocking the air-conditioning vent, indicating you are in the wrong lane to turn right; enter stress level one. The contactless ticket to take the expressway indicates empty wallet, enter stress level two. Immediately your right feet change from fast pedal to brake pedal; your eyes move to catch your boss calling as his name loops on screen, stress level jumps and as your playlist No. 2 blasts out metal rock, stress level at its highest. Add insult to injury, your Apple watch pings as your blood pressure hits the alarm mark.
In my version of fast-track of multi-tasking, I have learnt to read an e-book while watching news on YouTube at the same time scrolling through Facebook, surprisingly retaining 90% It is nothing to boast about, more of my own FOMO. Although there was a time in my life that multitasking was an inborn trait. Boasting now but going back 40 years ago, I was straddling my daughter sucking on my breast milk while flipping fried eggs in the pan for my husband at the same time playing boo to my 2-year-old son strapped in his high-chair patiently waiting for the porridge to cool down.
And then catching hubby’s eyes peeking through the top of the morning paper (made from recycled matter and wood pulp - the real stuff that crackles when turning pages) with amusement, at the same time checking his watch if he would have enough time to gobble up those eggs and be on his way to work or, typical of the male species, squeezing 10 minutes that would put him on top of the world, win the business game of the day and perhaps another child in the making. More likely that captured moment in a growing loving family of the silent eye contact, could not convey ‘Shall we?’ in text format. It would need masses of emoji’s and fail miserably in its attempt.
On that note, may the fast and the furious win the game. Just every now and again look out for those loving eyes that peer through the top of a Kindle, masking as a newspaper; it’s worth a million light years.